When I finished my last post, I was pretty excited. I knew that in a few days I’d be writing a follow-up touting my shiny, near-perfect, new cholesterol numbers. That was two weeks ago. I got one call from the doctor’s office to confirm what the strength and dosage of the omega 3s I’d been taking so the doctor could “figure out what to do.” I got a second call two days later that my triglycerides were down but everything else was up. “Keep doing what you’re doing, and we’ll recheck in another four months.” Not the worst news, but not what I wanted to hear. So, I got a little pouty. I let taking my supplements slide. I made too many trips to Sonic. I ate those chocolate-covered doughnuts I’d learned to resist. All the while I knew that it would get me here, feeling crappy. (On a positive note, I only missed one of my runs, and a trip to Sonic now usually means a small soda and a kid-sized burger rather than a double cheeseburger meal.)

So, once again, I feel like I’m starting over. I feel like I spend more time starting than moving forward. Better than going backwards, but still not good enough. Slow progress is one thing, but feeling like I’m running in place for four months is another. So, I’m going to do better. I’m going to kill this 5k on Saturday. Then I’m going to visit my mom. After that, I’ll come back here, and I’ll remember I’m worth it.

Advertisements